flu and blue.

Woe is me, lately. What a great time to blog, since I can't get out of bed. Yay flu.

I trust in God, I love Him. I am realizing, though, faith can be hard. Believe and Let Go.....honestly, that's what I am working on right now.

Is it just me, or is everyone pregnant right now? 5 of my Facebook friends, and about 3 blogs I faithfully stalk. I know, that sounded lame, but it is what it is, people. My friend D says, "So, defriend them all. You don't need this." I understand what she means. She doesn't want me to suffer. Infertility is painful. I'm 31 and have been infertile for 12 years. 12 years of "we have exciting news!", baby showers, birth announcements, birthday parties, blah blah blah. So defriending them would not make life better for me. This is life. Life produces life, live moves and builds and thrives, life ends.

What I need to cling to during these times is my God. I cry, pray, read. I spend time with family and friends. I make cards, work on the adoption lifebook. And when his ex is not being cold hearted, we have his kids:)

We had them this weekend and it was low key and amazing. We debuted their new rooms. The younger 2 share now. We put their beds side by side, painted the room grey, and loaded the room with lots of color and artwork. It's awesome!

M loved having her own room here. When she opened the door she was silent. She just stood therean then I heard a tiny....."wow". We left her alone in her turqoise room. About 10 minutes later she comes out...."Kristin, did you paint and decorate this just for me?" Me, "Yep. You're my girl." For 2 days she was in there,jammin to a boombox I found at Goodwill, laying on the white bed I found on craigslist, looking at her tree, owl and bird scene that covers an entire wall. She loved her porcelain horse lamp that I spray painted white and got a cool white square lampshade. She noticed everything and was in love. Well worth the wait to see her, A and J.