I'm going this year, and my handmade goodies will be in some of the gift bags, which is exciting!
In divorce news, we had a quick chat today. I can love him and hate him in the same conversation. I guess that's marriage in a nutshell. He shared with me a little about how he has been doing. I've been carrying him around in my heart and mind for the past few days. I miss him terribly. It makes me wonder if we'll ever at least be friends.
I think that may be what hurts the most. We were/are extremely close. He saw my ugly cries, my "one too many shots" resulting in him pulling over so I could hurl, he saw my transition from relaxed hair to natural(both times), my weight loss/gain/loss and ultimately gain again. He saw me cry hard and laugh hard. He saw me in and out of the hospital. I saw him too. I saw him cry. I heard his laugh that I love. I was there when his Stepdad passed, when his ex would never let us see the kids, her yelling and screaming at us with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth, and a 5th newborn child dangling from her teet. I saw him rise from the crappy job he was at when we met, to the great supervisor/trainer he is today. I lost my friend, more than anything. More than the loss of 3 stepkids. More than the future child that we tried to have but never did.
Nope, I lost my best friend too.
This was a very deep and heartfelt post. Somewhere inside, I wish that you all could work it out and eventually get back together.
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